Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE - NOVEMBER 27 - DECEMBER 3, 2000
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INTERNET
Latest Figures: Everyone
Has a Web Site
They're all immensely popular.
 
BOOKS
New Hand-Held E-Book Contains Entire Library of Congress
But it's only open from 10-6 on weekdays.
 
THIS WEEK'S BESTSELLERS - NONFICTION
   Rocket Science for Dummies
   Wall Street for Idiots
   Great Sex for Morons
   Diets for Dodos
   Ballot Design for Nincompoops
 
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
FIRST CONTACT MADE WITH ALIEN
Man-made robot greets giant humanoid visitor from another planet.

RECIPE OF THE WEEK
~ ~ Turkey Déjà Vu ~ ~ ~ ~  
Ingredients:
1 large partially eaten turkey
1-2 lbs. soggy stuffing
Several over-cooked yams
1 cup crusty cranberry sauce
1 new can of gravy

Remove aluminum foil from turkey carcass and carve while still cold. Heat up can of white or brown gravy in large sauce pan, add oddly shaped pieces of turkey meat, heat until contents of saucepan are safe to eat. Warm up yams and stuffing in microwave, pour cranberry sauce into a different bowl, make apologies to family and guests, and serve.

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