SPORTS |
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Yankees Purchase Rights to Second
Base
They own it in all future games, a
big advantage. |
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RECIPE OF THE WEEK |
It was the kind of
day when 2 lbs. of chuck roast,
marinated in half a bottle of
Thunderbird actually looked good. I
was just tenderizing the meat when I was
startled by a voice like warm crème brûlée
with caramel sauce. "You'll
want to add a tablespoon of Bovril
to the meat," she purred. I looked
up into the business end of the kind of
weapon the politicos are all against:
small, cheap, and deadly. On the other
end of it was a body with more curves
than a plate of rigatoni in clam sauce.
"How'd you get in here?" I
asked. "Never mind that," she
said. "Turn the oven down to 350º,
so it won't cook too fast." She
tossed me two medium carrots and one
onion. "Dice 'em." she
added. I always pay close attention to a
beautiful woman with a gun, so I did what
she asked, and put it in to bake in a
6 quart, covered casserole.
Suddenly, I heard the sound of eggs
breaking, and my knees buckled like a bad
soufflé. When I came to, my head felt
like it'd been inside a Cuisinart on
"puree," for 4 hours.
She'd left a note: "Garnish with
parsley, serve immediately with freshly
baked French bread, and a couple
of shots of Jim Beam." |
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MAN
IN THE STREET
This week we
asked people who voted last Tuesday the
following question: |
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Q: |
"If the election
were held today, who would you vote for?" |
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Mike, Carbondale,
Illinois: "The same person I voted for
last week, George W. Bush." |
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Annabelle, Queens,
NY: "I voted for George Bush, but I'd vote
for Al Gore today." |
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Regina, Atlanta, Georgia:
"I voted for Nader, but now I think
I'd vote for Gore." |
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Frank, Spokane, WA: "Gore.
I voted for Bush originally, but I
wouldn't today." |
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Luis, Los Angeles, CA:
"Bush. I liked Gore then, but not now." |
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