| WEATHER |
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Fine Here, But Cloudy
Where You Are
Nice weather for us throughout the
week. You, however, should keep an
umbrella handy. |
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| SPORTS |
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Mets Considering Move to NFL
Players unsure about switch. |
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| INTERNET |
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"Loading...Please Wait"
Voted Favorite Message on Internet
"Cannot Retrieve Page," is
second, "Try Again Later," is
next. |
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| TODAY'S RECIPE |
| |
Healthy Chocolate Cheese Cake
This delicious recipe is surprisingly
healthy!
1 cup sugar
1/2 lb butter
6 eggs
6 oz sweetened chocolate
Combine ingredients in bowl
Mix on high till smooth
Throw away
Allow 5 to 10 minutes for weeping
Calories: 0 Fat grams: 0 |
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| RELIGION |
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God Visits Earth
Offers eternal life, is murdered. |
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| MONEY |
|
New, "Happy" Lincoln
Five Dollar Bill Makes Nation Happier,
Says Study |
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Americans, who come in
daily contact with five dollar bills,
have been measurably happier since the
old bills, which feature a dour Abraham
Lincoln, have been replaced by the
new ones, with the happier engraving. The
old Lincoln seemed to be saying,
"Fourscore and seven years ago, blah
blah, blah," but now he seems to
say, "Whazzup?!" |
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NEWS
FROM
0UR
CITIES
San Fernando Valley
to, Like, Secede From Los
Angeles?
"The
Valley" as it is
sometimes known in
Southern California, is,
like, ready to secede
from Los Angeles,
according to, like,
everybody? They're all,
like, studying it, or
something, and it could
be on the ballot in,
like, a couple of years?
If the Valley was its own
place, and could have its
own logo and everything,
it'd be, like, awesome! |
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