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Ironic Times

 NO. 951 “Expect the Ironic” DECEMBER 24 - 30, 2018 

Dec 17
Dec 31
TRUMP ORDERS WITHDRAWAL OF ALL TROOPS FROM SYRIA, SUPRISING EVERYONE
Well, everyone except Putin.
 
WORLD NEWS
Russian TV Commentator: “Trump is Ours Again”
“After loaning him to Saudi Arabia.”
Mexico to Pay for Wall After All
As chaos increases in U.S., Mexicans fear being overrun by Americans fleeing collapse of government, rule of law.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS ...
Trump Foundation Dissolves After Family Treated it Like Their “Personal Piggy Bank”
Will give Trump portraits purchased with money meant for wounded veterans to wounded veterans.
U. S. NEWS
Washington Post: Russia's Influence Far Greater Than First Reported
Turns out we're all useful idiots.
Jared Kushner Receives Bipartisan Praise for Pushing Through Criminal Justice Reform
Democrats, Republicans alike promise to visit him in prison.
 
REMINDER
  Speak irrationally and carry a golf stick.
 
U.S. Population Grows at Slowest Pace in More Than 80 Years
Experts blame ban on “Baby, It's Cold Outside.”
Trump Reveals “Beautiful” Border Wall Comprised of Spiked Steel Slats
Guaranteed to repel Visigoths, Ostrogoths, and the occasional Hun.
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