| PEOPLE |
 |
 Another Pro-Trump
Flag Spotted at Different Alito House
He says this one was “the maid's
idea.” |
|
|
 Nikki Haley
Says She'll Vote for Trump
Won't let her sense of dignity,
self-respect get in way of career
ambition. |
|
| |
| BUSINESS |
|
 Scarlett
Johansson Complains That
OpenAI's ChatGPT Voice
Sounds Just Like Her
Company says it will switch to
new voice that sounds just like
Fran Drescher, who says she's
thrilled. |
|
|
Self-Driving Vehicle Companies
Face Federal Safety Investigations
Companies claim “no one is
responsible.” |
|
| CONSUMER NEWS |
|
 New Version
of Swiss Army Knife Will Have
No Knife Blade
Despite strong opposition from Swiss army. |
|
| |
| SCIENCE |
|
Study: Microplastics Found
in Every Human Testicle
Tested, Explaining Lower
Global Sperm Count
Conclusion: human males rapidly
evolving into Ken dolls. |
| |
| TECHNOLOGY |
|
 Microsoft Adding
AI to Windows
Despite small possibility it could
lead to a world ruled by Clippy. |
|
|
New Phone Apps Boil
Books Down to 15 Minutes
Reading Time
If you're a speed reader you can
polish off Finnegan's Wake during
a TV commercial. |
|
