Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – MAY 20 - 26, 2024
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PEOPLE
RFK Jr Furious He Got Left Out of Debate
He's been offered a separate debate, between himself and his former self.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
First Vinyl, Now Artists Releasing New Albums on Audio Cassette
Taylor Swift's latest albums also available on wax cylinders.
 
BUSINESS
Dow Index Tops 40,000
for First Time

CEOs thank public for paying more for everything.
Red Lobster Closes 99 Restaurants
After Disastrous “All-You-Can-Eat Shrimp” Promotion

Replacing it with “all-you-can-eat lobster” promotion only made things worse.
Biden Places Hefty Tariffs
on Chinese Imports

Covers everything except takeout and delivery.
ENVIRONMENT
Report: Major Oil Companies
Have Misled Americans About
Threat of Human-Caused
Climate Change Since 1960s

“Everybody was getting high and getting laid and we didn't want to bum them out,” they explain.
 
TECHNOLOGY
Report: AI Becoming More
Human-Like in Its Ability
to Lie, Deceive

However, researchers say it will still be years, and require much greater processing power, before it can lie like Trump.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Report: One-Third of Facilities Referred by “A Place for Mom” Cited for Neglect
“That's why we're A Place for Mom, not The Place for Mom,” says spokesperson.
New Health Studies Show
Benefits of Movement,
Olive Oil, Bird Watching

But only when they're combined.

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