Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – DECEMBER 18 - 24, 2023
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PEOPLE
Dodgers Give Shohei Ohtani 10-Year Contract Worth $700 Million, Almost All of It Deferred
For ten years he'll share an apartment, carpool to games, and work odd jobs in off-season to make it work.
 
PUBLISHING
Marjorie Taylor Greene's First Book Goes on Sale
Spoiler alert: George Soros behind everything.
 
MEDIA
Study: 1 in 5 Teenagers on YouTube or TikTok “Almost Constantly”
“And we're proud of them,” say spokespersons for YouTube, TikTok.
 
BUSINESS
Self-Proclaimed “World's Smelliest Cheese” Sells Out After Debut
Pairs perfectly with corpse flower salad.
SCIENCE
Bezos: People Will Live in
Space, Vacation on Earth

Too many distractions on Earth to get any work done.
Supercomputer That Simulates Entire Human Brain to Be Activated Next Year
Ten years from now, say designers, you'll be carrying around a spare brain in your pocket.
 
ENVIRONMENT
Entrepreneurs Want to Tow Icebergs to Warmer Climates
And sell snow cones.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: Morning People May
Have Neanderthal Genes

At least according to night owls.
 
LEXICOGRAPHY
Dictionary.com Word of
the Year: Hallucinate

Last year's word: psychedelics.

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