Ironic Times

page one
PAGE TWO – DECEMBER 4 - 10, 2023
page three

PEOPLE
Report: Pence Considered Not Showing Up Jan 6
Had premonition of a hanging.
 
PUBLISHING
Sports Illustrated Accused of Publishing AI-Written Articles
Models in swimsuit edition also getting second look.
 
BUSINESS
Gallup: Americans Unhappier
at Their Workplace

They miss working at home while smoking weed, eating chips.
Musk Tells Advertisers
Fleeing X “Go Fuck Youself”

Promises them they'll “never see their bllboards on Mars.”
Doritos Unveils “Doritos Silent” Software That Masks Sound of Crunching Doritos
Future updates will silence Fritos, Cheetos, and celery.
SCIENCE
Plane Fueled Only by Fat, Sugar Crosses Atlantic
Meal on flight also mostly fat, sugar.
 
ENVIRONMENT
Revealed: President of COP28
Climate Conference Promotes
Oil Drilling

Also promotes cock fights while serving on board of PETA.
 
MILESTONES
Henry Kissinger Dies at 100
Unexpectedly, after strenuous pickle ball match at Palm Springs swingers resort.
 
CORRECTION
 
Last week we mistakenly reported that the Supreme Court declared the gay rights movement “an extremist organization.” Although our Supreme Court has recently implied gay rights could be on the chopping block, it was Russia's Supreme Court. We apologize for the error.

FRONT PAGE
PAGE TWO
PAGE THREE
ARCHIVE
CONTACT
STORE
 © Copyright 2023 Ironic Times