Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – NOVEMBER 13 - 19, 2023
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PEOPLE
George Santos Backtracks on Holocaust Claims
Admits now he did not perish at Auschwitz.
Trump: “I Won All 50 States” in 2020 Election
“And Guam,” he adds.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Actors End Strike, Go
Back to Work

Many drop trays, stop waiting on tables in mid-meal.
 
BUSINESS
DoorDash Tells Customers Tipping Will Speed Delivery
Non-tipping will result in driver's phlegm in your chicken curry.
Cabbage Patch Kids to Enter Toy Hall of Fame, But Ken Rejected
Hall of Fame voters find him “an anachronism” and “freakishly out of touch.”
CONSUMER NEWS
Michelin-Starred Restaurant Closes Because It's Too Expensive
“It was that or charge reasonable prices,” says owner.
 
SCIENCE
Study: Rats Have Ability to Imagine
Explains ancient mystery of why they abandon sinking ships.
Neanderthal Man From 56,000 Years Ago Depicted in Digitized
Image
Both before and after winning a pricey prehistoric make-over.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
New Speaker of the House
Mike Johnson Says He Uses
App That Monitors Porn

Too much and his phone gets too hot to hold.
 
ENVIRONMENT
U.S. Plans to Bring Grizzlies
Back to Washington's North
Cascades National Park

“What's camping without grizzlies?” says a spokesperson.

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