Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – OCTOBER 23 - 29, 2023
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TECHNOLOGY
Marines Test Robot Dog Armed With Rocket Launcher
It's still an unreliable battlefield weapon, due to squirrels.
OpenAI Declares Its Core
Value to Build “Safe, Beneficial”
Artificial Intelligence

Not “evil, world-destroying” artificial intelligence like its competitors.
 
LABOR
Actors Told Not to Wear
Halloween Costumes
Promoting Current Films

“No more Mr. Nice Guy,” announces SAG-AFTRA president Fran Drescher.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Several Amish Shunned by Their
Community When Nationwide
Alert Reveals They Have Phones

Not to mention they've been sexting for money, trading in bitcoins.
FEATURE
According to the Pentagon, what percentage of American soldiers are overweight?
   A )  10%  
   B )  15%  
   C )  20%  
   D )  70%  
Hint: an army marches on its stomach, but come on.
 
RELIGION
Church in Texas Uses
AI-Generated Sermon

Compares God to Santa Claus, tells worshipers to “grow up.”
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Price of Girl Scout Cookies Going Up
“Price-gouging little monsters,” accuses one consumer group.

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