NEW PRODUCTS |
|
|
|
Superrich Building Lavish
Bunkers to Protect Themselves
From Coming Apocalypse
Shown: Entryway to Grand Ballroom
in 36,000 square foot Versailles
model. Only $10.5M from Apocalypse Now! |
|
LEXICOLOGY |
|
Merriam-Webster Adds
Dumbphone, Adorkable,
and Metaverse
Removes telephone, cute,
and reality. |
|
MISCELLANEOUS |
|
New Yorkers With Marijuana
Convictions First to Get
Dispensary Licenses
However, convicted drunk drivers
still can't get liquor store licenses. |
|
SPORTS |
|
MLB Announces Rules
Changes: Larger Bases, Pitch
Clock, Fewer Delays
And, for first time in major league
history, a limit on spitting. |
|
FEATURE |
|
Of the 70 million Americans
working remotely, what percentage
say they want to return to the
office full time? |
|
A ) |
85% |
|
|
B ) |
79% |
|
|
C ) |
65% |
|
|
D ) |
6% |
|
Hint: 94% say they'd
rather be home watching The Office" |
|
|
|
|
CRIME |
|
Among Materials Seized at
Mar-a-Lago: 90 Empty Folders
Trump: Obviously planted, why the
hell would I steal empty folders? |
|
ODDS 'N' ENDS |
|
Collapse of Antarctica's
Doomsday Glacier Could Raise
Sea Levels by Several Feet
Submerging islands, flooding coastal
cities, and generating some really
gnarly waves. |
|
|