| PEOPLE |
 |
 Magnus Carlsen
Wins Longest Game in World
Chess Championship History
When it began he was a 10-year-old
prodigy. |
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Trump Upset Nobody Mentions
Size of Jan 6 Crowd
“Everything else but that,” he complains. |
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| BUSINESS |
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Former Employees Sue Google for
Betraying “Don't Be Evil” Motto
Base suit on one brought against IBM
for betraying its motto, “THINK.” |
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| REAL ESTATE |
|
 There's a Metaverse
Land Boom as Investors Buy Virtual
Property
However, black avatars complain they're
being turned away in some neighborhoods
of cyberspace. |
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| SCIENCE |
|
 International Space
Station Forced to Swerve Away From Errant Space
Debris
“Give me warp power, Scottie!”
ISS commander is heard screaming. |
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 Scientists Create
First Living Robots That Can Reproduce
But getting them to engage in foreplay
proves “extremely difficult.” |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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Fox News Host Compares
Dr. Fauci to Dr. Mengele
Says being forced to follow public
health guidelines akin to being
turned into lampshade or bar of
soap. |
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| ENVIRONMENT |
|
Blizzard, Foot of Snow
Falls on Hawaii
“We've waited a hundred years
for this,” says ski resort owner. |
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