| PEOPLE |
 |
 Steve Bannon
Indicted for Contempt
Disheveled and scary-looking, he's
considered a fright risk. |
|
| |
| PUBLISHING |
|
Book: Trump Threatened to
Quit GOP, Start Own Party
But discovered Monster Raving Loony
Party already existed. |
|
Book: Trump Defended Calls
to Hang Pence
Pence's response: “It would
have been my honor to be hanged.” |
| |
| BUSINESS |
|
Record 4.4 Million Quit
Their Job Last Month
To spend more time with their couch. |
|
 Johnson &
Johnson to Split Into
Two Separate Companies
Move meant to confuse potential
litigators. |
|
|
| SCIENCE |
|
Report: Children Born on Mars
Will Have Brittle Bones, Weak
Eyesight, Green Skin Tone
And grow up to be little green men. |
|
NASA Says It Can't Meet
Trump's Timeline of Putting
Astronauts on Moon by 2024
Also can't meet his timeline of
establishing a Moon-a-Lago casino
by 2026. |
| |
| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
Austria: Brothel Offers Free
Sex for Getting Vaccinated
And free “threesome” for getting booster. |
|
Survey: 3 in 5 Americans Ban
Unvaccinated Relatives From
Family Gatherings
Fear they could spread misinformation. |
| |
| LAW |
|
South Carolina Law Forces
Death Row Inmates to Choose
Firing Squad or Electric Chair
They can also choose Burger King or McDonald's. |
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