Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – AUG 30 - SEP 5, 2021
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PEOPLE
Rudy Giuliani Claims He's More Lucid Than “90% of the Population”
“Up until Happy Hour,” he adds.
 
MEDIA
Fox News Anchor Asks if Pfizer Approval “Rushed,” Another Wonders “What Took So Long?”
And a third ponders if “it's time to impeach Biden.”
 
BUSINESS
To Coax Workers Back,
Companies Offer Perks

Dangle bathroom breaks, maternity leave, other previously unheard of benefits.
CVS, Walgreens Expand Services to Include In-Store Personal Therapy
But note: Walgreens has only Freudian psychoanalysts, while CVS is strictly Jungian.
Pfizer Marketing Newly Approved Vaccine as “Comirnaty”
Ask for it by name.
SCIENCE
Researchers: Primitive
Humans Shared Ideas and
Cultures 400,000 Years Ago

“I'll teach you how to start a fire if you'll show me how that round thing works.”
Experiment Involving Ants
Sent to Space Station

Astronauts will test what effect ants have on a zero-gravity picnic.
Tiny Human Brain Grown in Lab
But researchers note we're “many years away” from growing a race of superhumans.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study Confirms Drinking 8 Glasses of Water a Day Key to Good Health
Mainly due to exercise from all those extra trips to the bathroom.
Study: One Hot Dog Takes 36 Minutes Off Your Life; PB&J Sandwich Restores 33
A hot dog with peanut butter and jelly: no data.

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