Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – AUGUST 16 - 22, 2021
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PEOPLE
Bill and Melinda Gates Finalize One of Largest Divorces in History
As stated in prenup, she gets all the proceeds from Clippy, he gets what's left.
 
POLL
1 in 3 Florida Pandemic
Pet Owners Experiencing
Buyers Remorse

Hundreds of tigers, pythons, kangaroos looking for new homes.
 
BUSINESS
Elon Musk Criticized for Plans
To Put Billboard in Space

Giant sign reading “Your Product Here” will be placed in orbit sometime before start of holiday shopping season.
 
CORRECTION
 
Last week, we described this photograph as the sudden exodus of American personnel from Afghanistan. We were in error. It is in fact a photograph of the sudden exodus of American personnel from Vietnam. Or Iraq. We apologize for any confusion.
SCIENCE
Study: Movies Like Jaws
Hinder Efforts to Save
Endangered Shark Species

Cites paucity of dinosaurs since Jurassic Park came out.
Artificial Intelligence May
Help Cars Detect Potholes
Before You Hit Them

An audio warning, “Pothole in half a second!” could save some lives.
Mile-Wide Asteroid Might Hit Earth in 2182
To be safe, experts say we should assemble a crew of grizzled character actors, plus an ex-football player or two, and send them up there to blow the damn thing up.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: Pandemic Has Led to
More Violent Protests, Greater
Distrust in Government

And sharp increase in binge-watching.
Study: Roller Coasters Could
Help Fight Migraines

When combined with a daily regimen of tilt-a-whirl and bumper cars.

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