| PEOPLE |
 |
 Trump Considering
Giuliani, Dershowitz for His
Impeachment Defense Team
Promises “shockers,”
“fireworks,” “ratings
through the roof.” |
|
|
 Trump
Says He Will Not Attend Inauguration
Or watch it on TV, since he'll be
tuned to Newsmax. |
|
| |
| BUSINESS |
|
Cannabis Stocks Soar
After Georgia Election
Seems Ossof's a big fan of Maui Wowie. |
|
 Elon Musk
Leapfrogs Jeff Bezos to Become
World's Richest Man
Tells fans, “Today the world,
tomorrow the solar system.” |
|
|
| SCIENCE |
|
Trump Administration Guts
Protections for Migratory Birds
Many birds having second thoughts
about migrating south for winter. |
|
Study: Sick Ants Stay Clear
of Co-Workers to Stop
Disease From Spreading
Wait patiently for a vaccine. |
| |
| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
Trump Doubts Covid Death
Count
“A lot of them voted for Biden,”
he claims. |
|
Survey: Most Americans Say
They Feel Physically Older
Than They Really Are
Especially when asked to pick someone
up at the airport. |
|
Speakeasies Flouting Covid Rules
Popping Up Everywhere
Just remember the password: ventilator. |
| |
| ENVIRONMENT |
|
2020 Ties 2016 as Hottest
Year on Record
Climatologists place blame squarely
on Trump. |
|
