Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – SEPTEMBER 21 - 27, 2020
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PEOPLE
HHS Spokesman Michael Caputo Takes Leave of Absence
After taking leave of his senses.
 
MEDIA
Fox News Makes Cuts, On-Air Guests Must Do Own Makeup
And dye their own hair blonde.
 
BUSINESS
Report: Low Interest Rates
Mean $5,000 in Savings
Earns $2.50 a Year in Interest

Enough to buy a small bottle of Bufferin.
During Pandemic, Billionaires' Wealth Increased $845 Billion
Covid's upcoming second wave seen as icing on the cake.
Pepsi Developing Driftwell, a Drink That Makes You Sleepy
Those who tried it say it tastes like “root beer loaded with Sominex.”
PUBLISHING
For First Time in Its 175-Year
History, Scientific American
Endorses a Presidential
Candidate

Goes for Joe Biden, after a coin toss.
 
SCIENCE
Newly Discovered Dinosaur Fossil Indicates It Could Swim
According to headline in Loch Ness Times.
Astrophysicists Confirm Theory Some Planets Could Be Made of Diamonds
Probe to one planned by SpaceX in partnership with Zale's.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Report: Trump Political
Appointees Pressured CDC
To Change Weekly Reports

To annual reports.
Bill Gates on U.S. Pandemic Response: “Mismanaged Situation Every Step of the Way”
Trump: Gates a “low-IQ individual.”

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