| PEOPLE |
 |
 HHS Spokesman
Michael Caputo Takes Leave of Absence
After taking leave of his senses. |
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| |
| MEDIA |
|
Fox News Makes Cuts, On-Air
Guests Must Do Own Makeup
And dye their own hair blonde. |
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| BUSINESS |
|
Report: Low Interest Rates
Mean $5,000 in Savings
Earns $2.50 a Year in Interest
Enough to buy a small bottle of Bufferin. |
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During Pandemic, Billionaires'
Wealth Increased $845 Billion
Covid's upcoming second wave seen as
icing on the cake. |
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 Pepsi
Developing Driftwell, a Drink
That Makes You Sleepy
Those who tried it say it tastes
like “root beer loaded with Sominex.” |
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| PUBLISHING |
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For First Time in Its 175-Year
History, Scientific American
Endorses a Presidential
Candidate
Goes for Joe Biden, after a coin toss. |
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| SCIENCE |
|
Newly Discovered Dinosaur Fossil
Indicates It Could Swim
According to headline in Loch Ness Times. |
|
 Astrophysicists
Confirm Theory Some Planets Could
Be Made of Diamonds
Probe to one planned by SpaceX in
partnership with Zale's. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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Report: Trump Political
Appointees Pressured CDC
To Change Weekly Reports
To annual reports. |
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Bill Gates on U.S. Pandemic
Response: “Mismanaged Situation
Every Step of the Way”
Trump: Gates a “low-IQ individual.” |
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