Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – OCT 28 - NOV 3, 2019
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TECHNOLOGY
  Google Quantum Computer
Performs Computation in 3
Minutes That Would Have Taken Regular Computer 10,000 Years

Figures out how many chimps would be needed to write Hamlet.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Survey: Children Often Beg
Parents to Put Phones Away

Ignored, they grab a book and retreat to a quiet place to read.
Survey: 1 In 6 Adults Believes
Entire Galaxy Called “Earth”

Don't ask any of them for directions, medical assistance, change for a fifty.
 
LAW
Lawyers: Bronx Zoo's Happy the Elephant Should Have Same Rights as Humans
Argument made during messy divorce trial between Happy, Happy's ex Jumbo.
FEATURE
Who are Swing Set Susan, Dog Park Debby, Apartment Patty, Golf Cart Gail, Pool Patrol Paula and Cornerstone Caroline?
A )The cast of “Desperate Housewives”
B )Characters on “South Park”
C )Characters in the movie Hustlers
D )White women who have called police to report minorities who are doing nothing wrong.
Hint: six characters in search of an author.
 
SPORTS
Dallas TV Station Apologizes for Not Interrupting Cowboys Game for Tornado Warning
Especially after Cowboys' entire offensive line wiped out by twister.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
World's Fastest Car Unveiled: Can Go Over 500 MPH
And it has self-driving mode.

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