| TECHNOLOGY |
 |
 Robots Being
Developed to Eventually Take White-Collar Jobs
One thing won't change: female robots (shown)
will be paid less than their male counterparts. |
|
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Skype Can Now Blur Your
Background
No one will know you're calling from prison. |
| |
| EDUCATION |
|
Trump Backs Push for Bible
Classes in Schools
To replace Science. |
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| SPORTS |
|
Hundreds of Baseball, Basketball
Stars Go Unsigned as More Teams Tank
Owners trying to free up money for oft-injured
temperamental superstars fans love briefly,
then turn on. |
|
 Fewest Watched
Super Bowl Since 2008
Only 98.2 million tuned in to see Tom Brady
mail in another one against an inferior opponent. |
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| FEATURE |
 |
| The announcement of Donald Trump's resignation
to spare the House the painful responsibility of impeaching him and the
Senate the painful responsibility of removing him from office, followed
by Mike Pence stepping down, and the next in line, Nancy Pelosi
becoming president, was due to: |
| A ) | Confusion caused by drugs. |
| B ) | A ripple in the space-time
continuum causing an event which will but has not yet occurred to
appear as an event which has already occurred. |
| C ) | Wishful thinking. |
| Hint: think lovely thoughts. |
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| ODDS 'N' ENDS |
|
 Luxury Designer
Gucci Apologizes For “Blackface Sweater”
Offers full refund to anyone in Virginia who bought one. |
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