| PEOPLE |
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 Even Kushner
Uncomfortable with Saudi Crown Prince, His BFF
Not with the killing, with the dismembering. |
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| ENTERTAINMENT |
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Mormon Tabernacle Choir
Drops “Mormon” From Name
Couldn't get booked in any hip clubs. |
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| BUSINESS |
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 Canada Legalizes
Marijuana; Demand Quickly Outstrips Supply
Lines extend all the way from Nova
Scotia to British Columbia. |
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| CONSUMER NEWS |
|
 Golden Girls
Cereal Hits Supermarket Shelves
Cereal box boasts: “You don't need
teeth!” |
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| SCIENCE |
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China Plans to Launch “Artificial
Moon” to Light Up Night Skies
And rent it out to other countries for special occasions. |
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 NASA Has
Plans for “Cloud City” of Airships in
Atmosphere of Venus
If it can convince about fifty billionaires to
book tickets. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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First-Born Children More Likely to
Learn About Sex From Parents
Second-born most likely to hear it from
fist-born the very same day. |
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| CORRECTION |
| |
| We recently
reported that the future of Amazon was at stake in the upcoming
elections in Brazil. We apologize to our readers for unnecessarily
alarming them about the future of Amazon, which will not be
affected by the elections. It is only the future of the Amazon
Rain Forest, sometimes called “the lungs of the Earth,”
which is at stake. |
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