MILESTONES |
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George H.W.
Bush Becomes Oldest Living Ex-President in U.S.
History
As well as oldest living ex-President with a
wandering hand. |
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TECHNOLOGY |
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Self-Driving Vehicles Will
Decide Who Dies in a Crash
Algorithm quickly determines if you're up to date
on your car payments, then initiates evasive
maneuvers, or not. |
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MISCELLANEOUS |
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Facebook to Inform Users if
They Followed Russian Troll Farm Sites
And warn them of fake notifications informing them
if they followed Russian troll farm sites. |
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EDUCATION |
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DOJ Investigating Harvard's
Affirmative Action Admission
Policies
But only those affecting students whose father pledged
less than $2.5 million to gain them admission. |
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FEATURE |
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Outgoing Message
of the Day |
Hello. You have reached the Office of the Director
of Communications at the White House. No one is
currently available to take your call, but if you
feel President Trump has insulted you using
inaccurate information or otherwise
mischaracterized something you have said or done,
please explain your situation after the beep and the
president will double down on whatever he has already
said, then invent new lies and slanders about you.
Thank you and have a wonderful day. |
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ODDS 'N' ENDS |
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Trump Promotes
Own Black
Friday Sale on Twitter
Calls it |
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Emolumental! |
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