| MISCELLANEOUS |
 |
 Britain's
New 5-Pound Note Contains Meat Byproduct
Boiled, it's quite tasty, may well
become meal of choice in post-Brexit
England. |
|
| |
| TECHNOLOGY |
 |
Report: Up to 45 Million Twitter Accounts Bots
Another ten million probably dogs. |
| |
| FACTOID |
|
Denmark Ranked as Happiest Country
Based on quality of pastry, herring, depth
of melancholy. |
| |
| SPORTS |
|
2020 Japan Olympics: Baseball
to be Played at Fukushima Venue
With preliminary rounds at Hiroshima. |
| |
| BREAKING NEWS |
|
Report: Trump Gives CIA Permission
to Perform Drone Strikes
With order to target ISIS, al Qaeda, CNN. |
|
| FEATURE |
 |
| What does “plutocracy” mean? |
| A ) | Government by
extraterrestrials from the planet Pluto. |
| B ) | Government by
the lovable Disney cartoon dog. |
| C ) | Government by
the Roman God of the Underworld. |
| D ) | Government by
the rich. |
| Hint: did you vote for a little
green man, a dog, or an ancient god in the last
election? |
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| |
| ODDS 'N' ENDS |
|
 Trove of
Candid Hitler Photos Sell for $41,000 to
Unidentified Bidder
Sparks firestorm of speculation whether
it's Steven K. Bannon or some other
Trump adviser. |
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