PEOPLE |
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Trump Spent
$55,000 in Campaign Donations on 3,964 Copies
of His Book at a Single Barnes & Noble
Who says he never reads? |
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MEDIA |
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Former Host: Fox News a
Sex-Fueled, Playboy
Mansion-Like Cult
But otherwise fair and balanced. |
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Oscars Consider Adding New Category
Best Performance by Political Surrogate. |
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BUSINESS |
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Nephew of Colonel
Sanders Unwittingly Divulges
Secret KFC Recipe
Expected to cost company $1 billon a week in China alone. |
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SCIENCE |
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Hawaii: Astronauts
Emerge From Dome, Completing Simulated
Year on Mars
When told who's running for president, they go back in dome, lock it. |
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Life May Have Risen on Earth
Several Times Before
And ended just as badly. |
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MIT Scientist Claims His
Fountain of Youth Pill Stops Aging
When washed down with two gimlets. |
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HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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Study: Most Stressed Are People
In Their 20's, Least Stressed
Those in Their 90's
Twenty is the new ninety. |
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Report: Drowsy Drivers as Bad
as Drunk Drivers; Drunk Drivers
as Bad as Drivers Who Text
Conclusion: stay home, watch TV. |
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