Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – APRIL 11 - 17, 2016
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PEOPLE
As High School Boy Cruz Memorized the Constitution
But, like algebra, he never uses it.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Sea World Announces It
Will Stop Breeding Killer
Whales in Captivity

Future Shamu shows will utilize only volunteers.
 
BUSINESS
More Tax Havens in
Delaware Than People

State blames declining birth rate.
DOJ Shutters Non-Existent “University of Northern New Jersey” After Successful Sting
Received thousands of applications from former students at Trump University.
McDonald's Trying Out Restaurants With No Tables, Chairs
Or employees.
NEW PRODUCTS
Company Hopes Its Chewable Coffee Replaces Real Thing
Same for their drinkable donut (not shown).
 
SCIENCE
San Francisco Biotech
Company to Produce,
Sell Lab-Grown Shrimp

Ask your waiter what lab your shrimp comes from.
 
ENVIRONMENT
Study: Drilling in Oklahoma
May Lead to California-Sized
Earthquakes

With inevitable rise in seas, Oklahoma's the new California.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Researchers: Improvement
In U.S. Life Spans Has
Reversed Due to Obesity

We’re not living as long, but we’re jollier.
 
TRENDS
Worldwide Study: Despite
What Most Think, Promiscuity
Rate Close to 1 Percent

Most think it's everyone else but them.

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