Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – FEBRUARY 8 - 14, 2016
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MISCELLANEOUS
Oxford University Won't Bow to Critics and Remove Cecil Rhodes Monument, Despite His “Stealing Land, Massacring Tens of Thousands of Black Africans, Imposing a Regime of Unspeakable Labor Exploitation in the Diamond Mines and Devising Pro-Apartheid Policies”
Because basically, they say, he was a good guy.
Study: Cat Owners More
Neurotic Than Dog Owners

But less neurotic than sloth owners.
 
LAW
Study: Record 159 False Convictions Overturned in 2015
Although many of the exonerated expect to be falsely convicted again.
 
SPORTS
Estimated $4.2 Billion Bet on Super Bowl
In Newark, New Jersey alone.
MILESTONES
Supreme Court Marks 10 Years Since Justice Thomas Last Said Anything
Communicates only through charades.
 
BREAKING NEWS
  UN Security Council Condemns
North Korea for Launching
Long-Range Rocket

Then returns to previously scheduled cocktail party.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
World’s Highest Building, in Dubai, Has World’s Highest Nightclub (143rd Floor) and World’s Highest Mosque (158th Floor)
After an evening of debauchery at the club, you can repent in the mosque.

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