Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JUNE 29 - JULY 5, 2015
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MISCELLANEOUS
Pope Visits Shroud of Turin
Blesses it as one of Church's “biggest moneymakers.”
 
TECHNOLOGY
California: Driverless Lexus
Cuts Off Driverless Audi

Driverless police car issues paperless ticket to driverless Lexus.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: Watching Cat Videos on Internet Boosts Energy, Positive Emotion
Concurrent study: watching 12 hours of cat videos a day boosts homicidal tendencies.
 
ENVIRONMENT
World's Major Aquifers Draining Dangerously Fast
Public now advised to drink only one glass of water a day.
 
SPORTS
Sixteen- Year-Old French Girl Could Be First Woman in Major League Baseball
Years from now, say experts, major league rosters will be filled with French women.
DONALD TRUMP NAMES HIS CABINET
Secretary of State
Gary Busey
Actor
Secretary of Defense
Ted Nugent
Musician
Attorney General
Judge Judy
TV Personality
Secretary of Homeland Security
Rudolph Giuliani
Lobbyist
Secretary of Energy
T. Boone Pickens
Billionaire
Secretary of the Treasury
Sheldon Adelson
Billionaire
Secretary of Housing and Urban Development
Donald Sterling
Billionaire
Secretary of Transportation
Travis Kalanick
Uber Co-Founder
Secretary of Labor
Dennis Miller
Comedian
Secretary of Education
John Calipari
Basketball Coach

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