Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – APR 27 - MAY 3, 2015
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MISCELLANEOUS
Math Problem Goes Viral, Stumps Millions
Those who can solve it saw dress as gold and white, cat as Einstein.
 
TECHNOLOGY
Upgraded Atomic Clock Now Accurate for 15 Billion Years
After 15 billion years it will need to be reset.
 
LAW
New York Court Recognizes
Chimps as “Legal Humans”

Agrees with their signing gorilla attorney.
 
SPORTS
Baseball Trying to Convince Players to Stop Using Chewing Tobacco
And to scratch above the waist.
Pro Medieval Fighting Gains in Popularity
Although “fight to the death” rule has limited its growth.
FEATURE
What is “Operation Fearless Guardian”?
A )Latest TV show celebrating the criminal behavior of counter-terrorist police in the U.S.
B )Winner of the Pentagon's Annual Best Name for a Military Intervention Contest.
C )Secret code name for CIA attempt to place spy satellites in space.
D )Name approved by the High Council of Mars for operation to encircle Earth with defensive UFO’s loaded with Death Rays.
E )Name of our latest effort to sink into a military quagmire in Eastern Europe.
Hint: could be the best news Putin has heard in months.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Google Street View Captures Loch Ness Monster
Which asks for it to be removed.

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