| TECHNOLOGY |
 |
 3-D Printer Arrives
at Space Station
It will be used to make souvenirs. |
|
 |
Study: Americans Own $34 Billion Worth of
Used Cellphones
All of them replaced by ones with a slightly larger screen. |
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| AUTOS |
|
New Ford Mustang Enhances Engine
Sound Through Car's Stereo
To impress first dates. |
| |
| SPORTS |
|
ESPN, With $15 Billion NFL Contract,
Suspends Commentator Who Called NFL
Commissioner a Liar
And orders his vocal cords severed. |
|
 Golden State Warriors Reject Design for
New Arena That Resembles Toilet
Will instead go with either bidet or urinal. |
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| FEATURE |
 |
| What are these? |
| Finland, Japan, Portugal,
Sweden, South Korea, Israel, Australia, and
New Zealand. |
| A ) | Countries most popular in the U.S. for summer vacations. |
| B ) | Countries where the food is better than ours. |
| C ) | Countries whose infant mortality rate is lower than ours. |
| Hint: Well, yes, but we're still doing better than Somalia, Uganda, Bangladesh and Uzbekistan. |
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| ODDS 'N' ENDS |
|
 Wikipedia Corrects Sen. McConnell's
Entry Which Was Edited to Say He's a Turtle
It's changed to say “he looks like a turtle.” |
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