| MISCELLANEOUS |
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 |
First Superman Comic Book Sells
on eBay for $3.2 Million
Bought for ten cents in 1938, seller
thought “it was time.” |
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| NEW PRODUCTS |
|
 “No
Phone” is Just That!
Looks like a smartphone, but it's
really just a piece of plastic you
can hold and talk to, as if it were
a phone, and you had friends,
and a life, and you weren't
miserable. $19.95, at
Desperation Hardware. |
|
|
 Already a
Sensation, Knee Defender Has a Companion!
From the makers of Knee Defender comes Anti-Knee
Defender, the only device that quickly and easily disarms
Knee Defender, allowing you to fully recline your airline
seat, while your Knee Defender keeps the guy in front
of you upright. $21.95 (plus personal liability insurance,
legal fees, bail), at For Shmucks Only. |
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| FEATURE |
 |
| What are these? |
| “All is
Lost!” “I'm Begging!” “We Keep emailing!”
“32 Hour Alert!” “
ALERT” “Sadly” “Listen Up!”
“Sick of it!” “Deadline: 37 Hours”
“Deadline Extended” “Furious” “We
BEGGED You” “All Hope is Lost” “Important:
Don't Delete” |
| A ) | Messages received
from survivors of a shipwreck in the South Pacific. |
| B ) | Messages sent from
an Arctic expedition, lost somewhere near the North Pole, running
out of food. |
| C ) | Fundraising messages
from politicians running in the midterm election in November. |
| Hint: If you don't send us money, we will
not only lose the election, we’re all going to die!! |
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| ODDS 'N' ENDS |
|
 New App
Tracks a Product's Corporate
Political Donations
Turns out all your basic necessities are
made by people trying to kill you. |
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