| MISCELLANEOUS |
 |
 Music Video of Cossacks Attacking
Pussy Riot Goes Viral
As predicted by Nostradamus. |
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| |
| BUSINESS |
|
Home Equity Loans, Which Homeowners
Couldn't Pay During Housing
Meltdown, Now Back in Vogue
Banks assure customers there's little
risk, other than losing your home. |
|
Shortage of Clowns Threatens
Circuses, Birthday Celebrations
And future of Congress. |
| |
| TRAVEL |
|
Study: Cellphones Don't Cause
Problems During Flight
People cause problems during flight. |
| |
| SPORTS |
|
 Olympics: Warm
Weather Mars Final Week of Competition
Some competitors forced to shed
uniforms to avoid dehydration. |
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|
| FEATURE |
| Top 10 Reasons Why You Should
Never Read Top Ten Lists |
| 1 ) | There are
usually only a few possible top anythings, they just
put “Ten” in there because they think people
will read it. |
| 2 ) | If you agree
that the minimum wage should be raised, you don’t need
ten reasons. One or two is plenty. |
| 3 ) | Anything
about celebrities is probably not worth reading. |
| 4 ) | Especially
something like “Celebrities' Ten Worst Hair
Moments.” |
| 5 ) | Ten Funniest
cat videos? Get a life! |
| 6 ) | Ten sex
secrets to make your husband want you? How about
one secret: take off your clothes. |
| 7 ) | You don't
need ten reasons. Seven is enough, if you want ten,
write three more yourself. |
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| ODDS 'N' ENDS |
|
 East Coast Thaw
Brings Hazard of Ice Falling From Buildings in
New York
Residents urged to stay indoors until spring. |
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