| PEOPLE |
 |
 New Hampshire
Poll: Romney Republican Frontrunner
Edges out John McCain, Bob Dole. |
|
 |
UK: Royal Family Facing
Budget Problems
Parliament tells Queen: “tighten
belt, get rid of Corgis.” |
| |
| MEDIA |
|
In Quest to “Redefine the News,” CNN
Lays Off More Than 40 Journalists
But will continue covering celebrity gossip,
scandals. |
| |
| BUSINESS |
|
Orders for Durable Goods Decline
But orders for the crap that doesn't last
longer than the time it takes you to put it
together are off the charts. |
|
Markets Plummet Across Globe
Investors panic on rumor capitalism nothing more
than a pyramid scheme. |
|
 Starbucks to Open
Tea Bars in NYC
Will cater to people who hate Starbucks. |
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| SCIENCE |
|
Report: Human Body Not
Prepared for Life in Outer Space
Prepared for life on comfy couch watching movies
about outer space. |
| |
 Hawking Changes View of
Black Holes, Says Matter Doesn't Completely Disappear
Inside Them
So relax. |
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|
| |
| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
Consumer Reports: 97% of Raw
Chicken Contaminated With
Animal Feces
To put it nicely. |
| |
| CORRECTION |
| |
 In a recent item "European of 7000
Years Ago Had Blue Eyes, Dark Skin,"
we inadvertently included a picture of
John Boehner, Speaker of the House
(right; actual paleolithic hunter, left).
We are sorry for any confusion caused
by this error. |
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