| PEOPLE |
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 JP Morgan's Dimon Receives
74% Raise to $20 Million a Year
Bank's board of directors rewards him for
keeping them out of jail. |
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 Pope Says Internet's
Ability to Bring People Together “a Gift From God”
Cites eHarmony.com. |
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| BUSINESS |
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Starbucks Revenue Rises 12%
As more people have no place else to go,
nothing better to do. |
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Candy Crush Maker Trademarks Word “Candy”
And “sugar”, “sweets” and “fun” and, for the hell
of it, “trademark”. |
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 Bottle of Scotch
Sells For World Record $628,000 at Auction
Comes with dozen packets of instant
whiskey sour mix (not shown). |
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| SCIENCE |
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Report: Billions of Neutrinos Pass
Through Your Finger Every Second
If you had a nickle for every neutrino... |
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 NASA: Mysterious
Mars Rock Resembles “Jelly Doughnut”
In fact, resembles jelly doughnut NASA scientist was
eating during Martian rover's final pre-launch inspection. |
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| CONSUMER NEWS |
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Kraft Recalls 2 Million Kraft
Velveeta Cheesy Skillet Dinners
Over Labeling Error
Product fails to state clearly that eating Kraft
Velveeta Cheesy Skillet dinner regularly will
kill you. |
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Shocker: Kellogg's Reveals Froot Loops All Same Flavor
Now don't you feel stupid for always removing the purple ones? |
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10 of 11 Subcompacts Fail Crash Test
Your last thought: how much you saved on gas. |
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