TECHNOLOGY |
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First 1,000-MPH
Car Shown Off to Public
Two-mile braking distance still a concern. |
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One Billion People on Facebook
Put in perspective, that's one billion embarrassing, humiliating,
reputation-ruining photos, quotes and personal profiles. |
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MISCELLANEOUS |
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Bill to Create National Manhattan Project
Historic Park Fails
Due to unexpectedly high radiation levels. |
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SPORTS |
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NBA Cracks Down on Flopping
Those found guilty will have large red F sewn on their jersey. |
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Owner of Jets Says He'd Rather Romney Wins Than Jets
So far, Jets obliging. |
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Hockey Lockout Continues
Players, league still far apart on dental plan, affirmative action. |
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FEATURE |
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Mitt Romney's energetic
performance in the first presidential debate proves: |
A ) | It helps
if you're not encumbered by your previous record. |
B ) | It helps if
you're not encumbered by your previous positions. |
C ) | It helps if
you're not encumbered by the facts. |
D ) | All of the
above. |
Hint: a lie travels half way around the
world before the truth can get its pants on. |
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RELIGION |
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Two Christian Evangelical Broadcasters
Buy Key Locations in Jerusalem to Cover
Jesus's Return
Apocalypse Network jostling for best angle
with Beast Broadcasting. |
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