| ENTERTAINMENT |
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 Trailer
for Superman: Return to Krypton Released
In it, the Man of Steel returns to his home planet,
where he has no superpowers and lives life as
a mild-mannered eccentric. |
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Study: Movies With Smoking
Should Get R Rating
Unless it's associated with violence, profanity. |
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| BUSINESS |
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LIBOR Rate-Fixing Scandal Could
Bring Down Every Major Bank
Leaving nothing but itinerant money-lenders. |
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Poll: 25% on Wall Street Say Cheating
Necessary to Get Ahead
And absolutely essential if you want to earn
the respect of your peers. |
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| ENVIRONMENT |
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Report: Global Beef Demand
Leading to Deforestation,
Global Warming
Did somebody say McDonald's? |
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| SCIENCE |
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NOAA Announces Mermaids
Do Not Exist
After all-night meeting at waterfront bar. |
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Theory: Americas First Populated by Three
Waves of Migrants From Siberia, Not One
First wave built homes, grew food; second wave ate food,
built bigger homes; third wave stuffed themselves,
moved to gated community. |
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 British Scientist
Believes Extraterrestrials Exist and They Resemble
Jelly Fish
If you're stung by a jelly fish and suddenly possess
the wisdom and knowledge of a god, see your doctor. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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Dow Chemical’s Commonly Used Pesticide
Dursban Linked to Breast Cancer,
Infertility, Low Sperm Counts, Genital
Deformities, Early Puberty and Diabetes
And perfectly popped popcorn. |
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