Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – MAY 21 - 27, 2012
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MISCELLANEOUS
  New York Penthouse Sells for
Record $90 Million

Comes with high ceilings, panoramic view, woman.
 
TECHNOLOGY
Pentagon Restricts Flights of Problem- Plagued F-22 Raptor, World’s Most Expensive Jet Fighter
It will only fly at air shows.
 
RELIGION
Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Mormon Beliefs: In Heaven, Only Mormons Are Allowed to Have Sex
Are you ready to convert yet?
 
TRAVEL
Hotel Offers Skype for Dog Owners
After overwhelming demand.
A federal appeals court has ruled that the shadowy, tax-exempt organizations running political ads must disclose their donors. In response, these groups will:
A )disclose their donors.
B )think about it.
C )conduct thoughtful, probing self-examinations, questioning their own ethical and philosophical foundations.
D )find more loopholes.
Hint: “Where there's an impasse, there's a way out.” – old Zen proverb popular with lawyers.
 
NEW PRODUCTS
Finally, a Manual iPad for the Over-90 Crowd!
Not everyone on this planet grew up with a computer, let alone an electric typewriter, so this timely invention will satisfy those of us who prefer to slowly and carefully consider our words before committing them to Twitter. $800, at Centaur Sales.

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