| PEOPLE |
 |
 Gov. Christie:
Americans “Sitting on a Couch Waiting for
Their Next Government Check”
When they could be ordering pizza. |
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|
 Putin Presents
Cosmonaut With Ribbon for His Achievements
And for having most ribbons. |
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| |
| BUSINESS |
|
Steve Jobs Key Figure in
Digital Price-Fixing Case
After cost-cutting by abusing Chinese
workers, much-admired genius robbed
consumers back home. |
|
 Nude Maid Service in Lubbock,
Texas Approved by Authorities
Who have been using it for years. |
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| SCIENCE |
|
Study: Men Think About Sleep and Food
as Much as Sex
Most of the time men think about whatever
they're not getting enough of. |
| |
 NASA
Releases Photo of Elephant on Mars
Calls it “unsettling.” |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
New Claim: Sugar Addictive as
Cocaine and Causes Cancer
But a spoonful of it helps the medicine go down. |
|
Non-Drinkers More Likely to
Die of Heart Disease Than
Regular Drinkers
Slur that factoid to the designated driver on your
next ride home. |
|
Regular Eaters of Chocolate 4% Slimmer
They have fewer teeth. |
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