| ENTERTAINMENT |
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Mel Gibson to Produce Film
With Jewish Theme
Will also star in “Protocols of the
Elders of Zion.” |
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| BUSINESS |
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Google Reveals Its Data
Centers Consume 25% of a Nuclear Plant's
Output
Just to search for “pics of naked
babes” for you. |
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FEMA's Latest News Releases
Replace “Federal Government”
With “Federal Family”
“House Majority Leader” With
“Mean Uncle.” |
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California: Porn Industry
Resumes Production
Thousands report to work. |
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 Domino's
in Japan Plans Branch on Moon
Now hiring. |
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| SCIENCE |
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Ancient Humans Used Hand Axes
Earlier Than Thought
Cave painting deciphered as, “Where
the hell did I put my hand ax?” |
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Research: Conservatives Have
Larger Fear Center in Brains, Liberals
Larger Decision-Making Center
Unfortunately, decisions liberals make
are to compromise with hysterical
conservatives. |
| |
 2
Million-Year-Old
Pre-Human Fossil Could Be
Missing Link
It was discovered beneath
a creationist museum
blown away by Hurricane
Irene. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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Study: Weight Watchers Works
Most lost weight before putting it back on after
study. |
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Good News: Adult Smoking Rate
Edges Down Slightly
Bad news: due to attrition. |
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