NEW PRODUCTS |
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New
Machine Liquifies Your Remains
for Easy Disposal
And makes smoothies, too. |
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Combination
USB Drive/Vibrator Debuts
Not recommended for business
meetings. |
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New
Personal 3-D Viewers Allow You to
See Everything in 3-D!
Special cameras monitor
everything you look at,
projecting it on a tiny screen
inside the viewer. So realistic,
you'll swear you're not looking
through a viewer. $1500 at I Can
Already Do That. |
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ENVIRONMENT |
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Bad News: Lake Michigan Now
Contains 900 Trillion Invasive
Quagga Mussels
Good news: goes great with linguini. |
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FEATURE |
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The Consumer Energy
Alliance is composed of: |
A ) | Consumers
seeking lower energy costs. |
B ) | Consumers
wanting to be more energetic. |
C ) | Martians
wanting more energy. |
D ) | Oil and gas
company lobbyists seeking
tax breaks for the oil and gas industry. |
Hint: Mars
already has enough
energy. |
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MISCELLANEOUS |
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Site
of King Arthur's Round Table
Purportedly Found
By out-of-work producer for
History Channel. |
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