Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – AUGUST 15 - 21, 2011
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PEOPLE
George Soros Sued by 28-Year-Old Brazilian Soap Star for Not Providing Her With Promised Upper East Side NY Apartment
Credibly claims he couldn’t afford it.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Study: Audiences Enjoy Movies More When They Know Ending
Based on test subjects who attended screening of “Titanic.”
Police Explode Briefcase With
Screenplay Left for Agent Who
Wouldn’t Read It

It was that bad.
 
BUSINESS
Consumer Confidence Lowest
Since 1980

Consumer self-esteem also plummets.
Treasury Issues New Five-Dollar Bill
Part of its “Wacky” series.
 
SCIENCE
SETI Resumes Search for Extraterrestrial Life
After six month search for extra funding.
Genomic Fossils Reveal Explosion of Life 3.5 Billion Years Ago
Like a flash mob of amoebas.
Breakthrough Could Lead to
Quantum Super-Computers

All you need to know: it has something to do with Schrödinger's Cat.
 
 
Water Detected on Mars
But no women.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Internet Addiction Judged Worse
Than Drugs or Alcohol

For help, go to InternetAddiction.org and follow links provided there.
 
HIGH TECH
Texas Plant to Turn Sewage into Drinking Water
Most agree: a good thing, for somebody else.

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