PEOPLE |
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Ahmadinejad
Declares Paul the
Psychic Octopus Symbol of Western
Propaganda and Superstition
After octopus predicts Iran will
have nuclear weapons in two
years. |
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PUBLISHING |
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Colorado Newspaper Hires
Marijuana Critic
He's chosen from among 131,000,000
applicants. |
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BUSINESS |
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China Passes U.S. in
Consumption of Oil
U.S. passes China in consumption of
cadmium. |
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GM
Rolls Out Second Electric Car
Like first one, $41,000 Chevy
Volt will be available for three
years, then destroyed. |
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SCIENCE |
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Scientists Closing in on
Elusive "God Particle"
Just a little more funding and they'll
find it. |
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Method Found to Gauge
Emotional
Well-Being of Pigs
Confirms nothing happier than a pig in
shit. |
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Physicists Call for Building
Even Bigger Particle Collider
One that's too big to fail. |
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HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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Kraft to Cut Salt in Products Sold in
North America by 10%
Will make up for it by increasing sugar, fat. |
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Study: One Version of DRD4 Gene Makes
You Drink As Much as Your Companion
Another version makes you take off your
clothes and dance on the table. |
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MILESTONES |
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World's
Oldest Twitter User, 104,
Dies
Last tweet: going
thru tunnel now, c brite
lite, what R U
doing? |
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