MISCELLANEOUS |
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Archie Comics
Introduces First Gay
Character
Both Archie and Jughead are in love with him. |
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HIGH TECH |
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McAfee Anti-Virus Update
Causes Computers Around
The World to Freeze
Follow-up update easily fixes problem,
but only for those without frozen computers. |
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New Microsoft Phone Includes
All Social Networking
Need for actual friends reduced to zero. |
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New Scanner Can Scan
250-page Book in 60 Seconds
Still cant compete with average
college freshman. |
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LAW |
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Arizona Legislature Passes
Bill
Requiring Presidential Candidates
To Produce Birth Certificates
Dental records, urine samples, two
references. |
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Banks which got bailout
aid from U.S. taxpayers: |
A ) | cut back
lending more than those
that didnt. |
B ) | paid out
more to their own employees than those that didn’t. |
C ) | had a lot
more parties than those that didn’t. |
D ) | all
of the above. |
Hint: think Jell-O shots. |
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TRAVEL |
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60 Passengers Injured As
Carnival Cruise Ship Lists
When all-you-can-eat buffet opens on port
side. |
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LIFESTYLE |
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College Fraternity's
Old South Days Cancelled Due to
Racial Insensitivity
Replaced by Jim Crow Days. |
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