| MISCELLANEOUS |
 |
Robots Take
Over in Parts of Ukraine
Authorities say unrest
confined to small area. |
|
 |
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| |
| EDUCATION |
|
Panel Seeks National
Standards for Education
Covering broad areas like gum chewing,
passing notes and sharing what you
find so funny with the rest of the class. |
| |
| LAW |
|
Senate Might Reduce Crack Cocaine
Sentence Disparity By 80%
So, instead of serving 500 years for simple
possession, an offender would only have
to serve 100 years. |
|
 Supreme
Court to Hear Case of Provocative Christian
Protesters
In Good Christian Heterosexuals v. Satan. |
|
| |
| SPORTS |
|
NCAA Considers Expanding
Basketball Tournament to 96 Teams
From “March Madness” to “April of Our
Discontent.” |
|
 |
| Citibank
has used your tax bailout
dollars to: |
| A ) | build a
bridge over the financial
crisis to a sound footing
on the other side. |
| B ) | help
distressed homeowners
stay in their homes and
renegotiate unaffordable
mortgage payments. |
| C ) | slap an
annual $60 fee on credit
cards that previously had
no fees, and hire public
relations people to
explain this to irate
customers. |
| Hint: you
can always cancel your
Citibank card, although
you do realize this
will have a substantial
negative impact on your
credit rating, don’t
you? |
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| RELIGION |
|
Poll: 82% Ask God for Advice
Before Making Decision
Then place order for Paris Hilton sex
tape. |
| |
| CRIME |
|
 Germany:
Robbers Steal Millions From TV Poker
Tourney
Then give it all back at craps
table. |
|
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