| PEOPLE |
 |
 Just Turned 83, Stronger, Healthier
Fidel Appearing More Often in Public
Right, judging Miss Hawaiian
Tropic bikini contest. |
|
| |
| LIFESTYLE |
|
Recession Eliminates
Conspicuous Consumption
Rich learn a Bentley will get you there
just as safely and comfortably as a
Rolls-Royce. |
| |
| TECHNOLOGY |
|
First Internet Addiction
Detox Program Up and Running
Internet addicts who go to site can sign
up for online counseling, regular e-mail
alerts, free games. |
| |
| MISCELLANEOUS |
|
 3000-Year-Old
Bust Drawing Crowds to Chicago
Museum
Many think it resembles Michael
Jackson, others say LaToya. |
|
|
| FEATURE |
 |
| 40% of college students
recently reported feeling
“down, hopeless or
depressed.” This is
due to: |
| A ) | the dim
prospects for employment
when they graduate. |
| B ) | the gigantic
debt they will have to
pay off when they
graduate. |
| C ) | the
possibility they
won’t graduate. |
| D ) | Another
Saturday, no date. |
| Hint: If I
can’t get a date
now, in college,
surrounded by thousands
of attractive young
people my own age, I will
never, ever get a date in
my entire life. |
|
|
|
| |
| POLITICS |
|
 Heavily
Armed Demonstrators Show Up at
Obama Health Care Events
Protesting takeover of government
by unarmed voters in last
election. |
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