Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – NOVEMBER 24 - 30, 2008
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PEOPLE
Ann Coulter, Other Conservative Women Wear Mink for Calendar
For the year 1947.
Vatican Forgives John Lennon for Jesus Remark
Does not forgive him for marrying Yoko.
 
TRENDS
Apathetic Expression “Meh” Enters Dictionary
Lexicographers' response: meh.
 
SPORTS
Bowl System Proposed for College Basketball
Cumbersome 64-team tournament would be scrapped in favor of four games between same familiar schools.
Steinbrenner Turns Over Control of Yankees to Son Hal
After firing his son Hank.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Air Force Developing Bug-Sized Reconnaissance Drone
Also flyswatter-sized defense system (not shown).
FEATURE
$36 million is:
A )the cost of research GM has funded to improve mileage for their cars.
B )the cost of redesigning their cars to reduce size and weight.
C )the cost of developing alternate power sources for their cars.
D )the cost of the private corporate jet on which GM CEO Rick Wagoner flew to Washington to beg for a bailout of his company.
Hint: do you want this guy to be tired from the stress of first class travel on a commercial jet?

On its way out the door, which of the following will the Bush administration not do:
A )issue blanket pardons for themselves.
B )open national lands to drilling, mining interests.
C )loot the treasury.
D )turn out the lights.
Hint: it wouldn’t be nice to leave Obama in the dark.

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