| PEOPLE |
 |
 England:
Queen Entertains Members
of Loony Party
Later met with members of
Monster Raving Loony Party. |
|
|
Palin’s New Campaign
Clothes From
Saks Fifth Avenue, Neiman Marcus
Located in anti-American part of
America. |
| |
| BUSINESS |
|
Market Continues Plunge on
Disappointing Profit Reports
And fall of capitalism. |
|
Stocks Lose $16.1 Trillion in
Value Since Sept. 1
Though $16.1 trillion isn't what it used
to be. |
|
Money Woes Hit Art Market
Buyers beginning to consider artwork's value as scrap. |
|
 Greenspan
“Shocked” by Economic Collapse
Thought greed was good |
|
|
| SCIENCE |
|
NASA Adding Onboard Computer
Therapist to Future Space Missions
Replaces inflatable dolls, which were deemed
“unreliable.” |
|
Study: Our Kids Less Likely to
Graduate or Earn as Much as We Did
Their kids less likely to walk
upright, use tools. |
| |
 Britain
Releases Secret UFO Files
In language no one
recognizes. |
|
|
| |
| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
Study: Half of U.S. Doctors Give Patients
Placebos
Ask your doctor if placebos are right for you. |
|
Government: Adults Should Get 2˝
Hours of Exercise Per Week
Might as well, they’re not working. |
|
Tests on Mice Prove It's
Possible to Selectively Erase Memories
Someday you'll be able to take a pill
that makes you forget you took it. |
|
