MISCELLANEOUS |
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Early 1st Century Bowl Found
With Inscription By Christ the
Magician
Along with food coloring tablets, flotation device. |
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$10 Million Prize Offered to Inventor
of Affordable, Super-Efficient Car
Something like Model T. |
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WAR ON TERROR |
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In Case of Anthrax Attack, Mail
Carriers Will Deliver Your
Emergency Antibiotics
Except on Sundays. |
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LIFESTYLE |
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Emily, Jacob Top Baby Names
For 12th Straight Year
Monica, OJ remain least popular. |
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Census: Majority of American
Households Not Married
But marriage could be saved by allowing
gays to wed. |
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ELECTION '08 |
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Record 90% Believe Country on Wrong Track
But only 40% intend to vote. |
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McCain Reveals Plan to Save Economy
Revive poll tax. |
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FEATURE |
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According to Fox News Channel, 86%
say John McCain won the second presidential debate.
Based on which of the following polls? |
A ) | Independent
telephone survey of 1200 voting-age
Americans. |
B ) | Secret
ballot at Loco Lobo, a maximum security hospital
for the criminally insane in Sedona. |
C ) | Informal
survey of Wasilla Sisterhood of Moose-Hunting Hockey Moms
for Christ. |
D ) | Call-ins
from viewers who watched debate on Fox News Channel. |
Hint: Fox News Channel remains
cable’s most-watched news network. |
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FACTOID |
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Sales
of Halloween Masks Accurately
Predict Election Outcome
Based on that, next president will
be Richard Nixon. |
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