| PEOPLE |
 |
Jesse
Jackson: “I'd Like
to Cut [Obama's] Nuts
Off”
Later apologizes, says
he didn't mean it literally. |
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 |
Stephen
Hawking Visits Playboy
Mansion
Calls Hef a genius. |
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Senate Confirms
Petraeus as Top Commander in
Middle East
Only problem: where to put new
ribbons. |
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| |
| BUSINESS |
|
Chinese Man pays $2.1M for
Lunch
With Warren Buffett
Disappointed, thought his lunch was with
Jimmy Buffett. |
|
 Chevron's Refining, Marketing
Divisions Lose Money in 2nd Quarter
Company blames low price of gasoline. |
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| SCIENCE |
|
NASA: Voyager Probe
Determines Solar System
Not Round, But “Dented”
Fortunately, we have solar system insurance, which covers dents. |
| |
 Glass Beads Brought Back From
Moon May Indicate Presence of Water
Or kids shooting marbles. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
Drug Companies to Cease
Giving Free Pens
Additional cost of illegible prescriptions will be
passed along to consumer. |
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Study: Anti-Aging Supplements
Don't Work
Fortunately, you don't need them, you look
fabulous. |
| |
| CORRECTION |
| |
| We reported
that “dairy” was a
powerful tool in helping people
lose weight. In fact, it is
keeping a food “diary”
that helps. Dairy products can
kill you. We apologize for the
error. |
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