| NEW PRODUCTS |
 |
 Jet-Propelled
Outhouse Goes Fast, Even if You
Don't
Sometimes diapers aren't enough.
The two-cylinder single-passenger
Latrina is perfect if
you really can't afford to stop
for anything except rocket fuel.
Opt for the sports package, with
6-CD changer, stiffer suspension
and half-moon roof. Base model $18,590
at Cesspools, Segways and Beyond. |
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| TRAVEL |
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Universal to Build Dubai
Theme Park
Paradiseland will feature racetrack, discos,
Michael Jackson's Small World,
Four Hundred Virgins Ride. |
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| KIDZ KORNER |
Create
Your Own News Story:
Just Fill In the Blanks
City officials in ____
expressed dismay at the
behavior of the police at
the recent ___ of ____ at
____. Local leaders and
attorneys deplored the
police attack on the
____, which was
apparently unprovoked.
Local media officials
also protested that ____
reporters were among the
injured. Mayor __ was
"very
disappointed"
especially after the ____
Commission’s report,
following the ____
incident, only __ years
ago. "They were
supposed to have all
these reforms in
place," said ___ ,
"but instead they
did exactly what they did
in ___." |
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| FEATURE |
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| The United States
has at last brought
charges against: |
| A ) | an
anti-Castro terrorist wanted in
several countries for the
1976 bombing of an
airliner with 73 aboard. |
| B ) | several losers who
plotted with FBI
informants to do
something that would be
bad in New Jersey. |
| C ) | Members of an Al Qaeda
affiliated group on Mars. |
| Hint: it's not “A”. |
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| MISCELLANEOUS |
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 NASA to
Display Life-Sized Model
of New Space Telescope on
D.C. Mall
Replica cost more than
actual telescope, which
seeks funding. |
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| SPORTS |
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Aaron, Commissioner Won't Be
There When Bonds Breaks Record
Each has previously scheduled appointment
for whenever he hits 756th home run. |
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Yankees Sign Clemens for
Approx.
$1 Million Per Start
That's $333,000 per beanball, $194,000
per brushback, $78,000 per chin music. |
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