PEOPLE |
|
Mexico's
Carlos Slim Passes Warren Buffett
to Become World's 2nd Richest
Decided by Slim's slightly longer
ball of string. |
|
|
|
Kissinger
Receives Honorary
Doctorate
From Ho Chi Minh City
College. |
|
|
|
MEDIA |
|
Results of DNA Test Finally
Ends Long, Tawdry Anna Nicole Saga
Fox News calls for more tests. |
|
Imus Fired From Radio Show
for Racist, Insensitive Remarks
Will be replaced by Howard Stern. |
|
BUSINESS |
|
Circuit
City Lays Off 3400 Veteran,
Higher-Paid Employees
Salesmen who didn't know
difference between CD and DVD
replaced by salesmen who don't
know difference between minimum
wage and job security. |
|
|
SCIENCE |
|
New Data Indicates Global
Warming Even Worse Than Thought
Public urged to panic. |
|
Cellphone Use Could Be Cause of
Honeybee Disappearance
Bees spend so much time on phone
they've stopped making honey. |
|
Study: Robin Hood
Impulse
Part of Human Nature
Below a certain income level. |
|
U.S.
Military Funding Flying
Saucer Research
Also ray guns, robot
armies, giant worms,
Death Star. |
|
|
|
HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
Study: Most Angioplasties
Unneeded
Patients urged to stop asking for them. |
|
Report: Teens in Abstinence
Classes Still Having Sex
Some during class. |
|
MISCELLANEOUS |
|
George Orwell's Former Residence
Surrounded by 32 Cameras
Not counting one in his grave to monitor
spinning. |
|