| PEOPLE |
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Paris Hilton
Faces Jail Time for
Latest Arrest
At least twenty-five
years, thanks to
California's “three
strikes” law. |
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| ENTERTAINMENT |
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Miss America Pageant
Loses TV Contract
Pageant directors told unless a
contestant is caught taking drugs in a
nightclub or shooting her boyfriend, no
network will be interested. |
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New NBC Sketch Comedy Show
Features Stars, Sets, But No Script
Aimed at people who like watching TV with
the sound off. |
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| MEDIA |
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Survey: Web News Readers Have
Greater Attention Span
Those who read newspapers tend to rip
them up after the headline. |
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| BUSINESS |
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In Makeover,
“Uncle Ben” Now
CEO of Company
Call him “Mister
Ben.” |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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FDA Tightens Rules on Drug
Assessment Advisory Committees
Drug company CEOs no longer allowed to
chair them. |
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Study: Roasted Vegetables as
Bad for Teeth as Sugar
Public advised to eat toothpaste. |
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| SCIENCE |
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Study: More Kids 10-17 Seeing
Online Porn, Mostly By Accident
Or so they claim. |
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 Hexagon
Spotted on Saturn
No comment, says
Pentagon. |
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| ENVIRONMENT |
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China About to Pass U.S. as
Greatest Producer of Greenhouse Gases
White House blames Clinton. |
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| CORRECTION |
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| Recently we reported that the President of
the United States had defied world opinion,
saying other nations could "go hang" after
being criticized for false imprisonment and
torture. In fact, it was the President of
Zimbabwe who made the remark. We
apologize for any confusion caused by our
mistake. |
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